The Stuff
by TamarinaDC
Summary: If you're wondering how Uhura rocks that hairstyle, here's the answer. Better living though technology!


The Stuff

Or, Why Uhura's Hair looks so Fierce

Just a little one-shot designed to answer the question for all of us, especially women of color, who are wondering what Uhura uses to keep her hair looking so awesome. Unbeta'd, all mistakes are mine (including anything scientific). Disclaimers- if I owned it, I sure wouldn't be working and cliping coupons.

**TIME: MID 21st Century**

**Location: The Corporate Boardroom of PersonalCare Inc.**

The man at the front of the room, whose name had been lost to history, looked out over the assembled group. They were the same corporate types who had populated every corporate boardroom since the 1700's- well-fed, impeccably dressed, and extremely interested in any other way they could extract money from the populace. The man smiled- with this new product, they'd be out buying their own islands within a month.

He called the meeting to order. "Ladies and gentleman, thank you for your time today. I have a new product that I believe you will all be interested in- one that will revolutionize the hair care market."

Few people stirred- everyone had heard similar claims before. Revolutionize hair, skin, nails, whatever.

And now the ubiquitous PowerPoint presentation. But he started in a different direction than the usual presentation- it was a slide about nanotechnology.

"Ever since the 20th century, the public has been resistant to the idea of nanotechnology. Science fiction writers, techno-alarmists and others have been telling the public that nanites would lead to the destruction of civilization as we know it. No matter how many times they've been reassured that nanites are safe, they refuse to believe it. And we in industry have never been able to introduce a product that would break down this resistance – until now."

The slide changed to a video presentation. It showed 3 models- one of African, Caucasian, and Asian origin. Each wore their hair "natural." A product was applied to their hair, dry, and brushed through. Before their eyes, the African woman's Afro instantly straightened, the Caucasian woman's fine, straight locks gained an instant wave, and the Asian woman's straight hair bounded into gorgeous ringlets. Everyone in the room sat up.

"These women are all using Dr. Cleebold's Hair Elixir, each individually tailored for their particular hair type and desired style. Each application contains nanites that break down and restructure the hair's protein and salt bonds the same way that chemical permanents, relaxers, and heat treatments such as flat irons and blow dryers do. Any woman who wants to change her hairstyle can simply apply a dose of serum that slows or stops the nanites' actions. If they wish, they can apply a new Cleebold's formula that will allow them to assume a new hairstyle. The nanites' actions are limited to human hair only, and will not wash off or shed- a woman can swim, sweat, or do whatever other activities she might like, and her hair will not be affected."

"How often does it need to be reapplied?" asked a voice from the back.

"Only once in a lifetime. Yes, you heard me. If a woman wants, she could apply this to her daughter's hair at age 2, and the child's hair would never need another treatment again if she was satisfied with the style. But..." and he smiled, "women are NEVER happy with the style."

And then, one last slide. More eyebrows went up across the room.

"The real benefit here is changing the public's perception of nanotechnology. Once women start using Dr. Cleebod's products, they'll become more and more comfortable with nanotechnology. When that happens, the money will start to roll in from a variety of products. When people realize that nanites are safe, the sky will be the limit."

Of course, the company did not take the salesman's word for it. They took Dr. Cleebold's formula, did tests of their own, made sure the environment would be safe (after all, they had to live on the planet too). They also did extensive tests with real women, and, to their almost unimaginable delight, it worked just as Cleebold said it would.

Five years from the day of that presentation, Dr. Cleebold's Elixir ("Featuring NANOTECH) was first available to the public. Within 3 weeks, the company was running every factory day and night trying to keep the product in stock. Inside of 4 years, NANOTECH was in all kinds of consumer products, with no harm done to anything except a few hairdressers who had to go back to school to learn new techniques to keep themselves in business. Those business executives purchased those islands. Women everywhere were totally in love with Dr. Cleebold.

Ironically, though, even though he was one of the few inventors who actually had his name attached to a product he created, and everyone knew that that was the product's official name, no one called it that. Not that people forgot his name- in fact, they sang his praises all over Earth, and when they went to the stars, they sang it there. But when it came to his first, and most beloved product, women the world over simply called it "the Stuff." Cleebold didn't care- he took his money from his patents and bought a planet.

XXX

**TIME: MID 24th Century**

**PLACE: Starfleet Academy**

Cadet Gaila Indouria of Orion tried as much as possible not to feel homesick. She was so happy to be one of the first Orions in Starfleet, and happier still to be surrounded by such good-looking young cadets. She knew before she arrived that she would be challenged academically- she was delighted to find out that she would also have her pick of recreational partners. A girl had to stay in shape, you know.

She had just finished putting away her clothes and had started on her shoes when she heard the door open and a female voce call, "Hello? New roommate?"

Gaila called back. "In here- my name's Gaila Indouria. You must be Nyota Uhura." The human woman was very striking, with skin almost as brown as hers was green. And her hair- it was glorious, long and brown, and fell almost to her waist.

To her surprise, the human woman introduced herself in Gaila's native dialect of Orion - and with a tolerable accent.

"I'm impressed- not many humans know my home dialect. Xenolingustics major, I presume?"

"Correct- and Orion's one of my favorites. Is it ok if we practice sometime? I've not met too many native speakers, and I'd love to improve my accent."

"Deal- it'll be great to have someone to talk to- my Standard is ok, but sometimes I like to speak in the language of home."

Nyota started putting her things away, and Gaila switched into Standard and kept talking. "Can I just tell you I love your hair? I wish I could get mine to behave so well."

Nyota turned, and laughed. "Thanks- but don't Orions have "The Stuff?"

"What "Stuff? "

Nyota kept laughing. "You mean that the Orion Syndicate, one of the most sophisticated criminal organizations in the galaxy..." (Gaila didn't argue with her and wasn't insulted- the Sydicate WAS one of the most sophisticated criminal organizations in the galaxy) "...they haven't introduced you to the Stuff?"

"Not that I know of -maybe we call it something else?"

"Girl, everyone on every planet that I know about calls it "The Stuff"- it's the miracle that keeps our hair looking amazing at all times. We'll go off campus and get you some in a little while- there MUST be an Orion formulation on the market- if not, we can try the human version and see if it works on your hair. Trust me when I tell you that every woman on the planet uses and loves "The Stuff." "

"That must be some "Stuff"," opined Gaila.

"Girl, you don't know the half of it."


End file.
